25 Puns and Dad Jokes That Boldly Go Where No Pun Has Gone Before

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  • 01
    Riker's Beard I actually know a lot of jokes in sign language. That's interesting. And I guarantee you nobody has ever heard them.
  • 02
    A cheese factory exploded in France. That's awful. Riker's Beard It is. Da Brie is everywhere.
    via FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
  • 03
    When my great-grandfather went bald, he built a machine to weave a wig out of yarn. He gave it to my grandfather, who then gave it to my dad and one day, it will be mine. It's our family hair loom.
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  • 04
    I fired the janitor for smoking pot. Because I can't stand high maintenance people. Why would you do that? Riker's Beard
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  • 05
    IF A PSYCHIATRIST PUTS YOU IN A STRAIGHT JACKET YOU'RE SHRINK WRAPPED. imgflip.com
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  • 06
    My dog has been licking his balls a lot. RIKER'S BEARD I wish I could do that! I would prefer if you just pet him, Will.
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  • 07
    I was once so broke I couldn't afford to pay my electricity bill. Riken's Bean Those were the darkest days of my life. Riken's Brand
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  • 08
    I DROPPED A COPY OF OLIVER TWIST ON MY TOE. IT HURT LIKE THE DICKENS! EVG
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  • 09
    The Beastie Boys are releasing a 5 part anthology. Really? Yep. Parts A-D are free, but you have to fight for your right to Part E. Riker's Beard
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  • 10
    FuG Someone glued all the cards together! I'm having a really hard time dealing with it!
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  • 11
    I didn't have time to jog this morning. You say that every day. It's a running joke.
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  • 12
    Number One, do you know the price of a chimney? Let me guess, Captain: nothing, because it's on the house? Actually, it's through the roof. Zach Holmboe
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  • 13
    ALBERT EINSTEIN WAS A GENIUS BUT HIS BROTHER FRANK WAS A MONSTER
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  • 14
    I just saw a wolf on the ship. Where?! No, the regular kind. STAR TREK FANS
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  • 15
    Pic Stitch I saw a man standing on just one leg at the ATM. Confused, I asked him He said, "I am just checking my what he was doing...tch balance..."
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  • 16
    Captain, there is something! must tell you.Irecreated a museum on the holodeck yesterday, and I spanked a statue of a 21st century wrestler turned actor, Dwayne Johnson. Thats...disturbing, Mr. Worf. Yes, sir. I knew at that moment, Ihad hit Rock bottom.
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  • 17
    WHILST ON SHORE LEAVE I VISITED A MONASTERY, WALKING BY THE KITCHEN I NOTED A MAN COOKING CHIPPED POTATOES. wwww NO THE CHIP MONK. WAS HE THE FRIAR?
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  • 18
    I don't have a home anymore. I have no control and there's no escape. I can't see an end. Riken's Beand I guess it's time for a new keyboard. Rihen's Beand
    via MrBurl, Riker's Beard
  • 19
    I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I SAW A UNIVERSAL REMOTE CONTROL. e I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "WELL, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!" imgflip.com
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  • 20
    My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I'm "too un-American." Captain Kinh Man Myth Legend I should've seen that coming from a kilometer away. A Captain Kink Man Myth Legend
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  • 21
    I JUST READ A LIST CALLED: "100 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE" I WAS REALLY SURPRISED THAT "YELL FOR HELP" WASN'T ONE OF THEM
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  • 22
    PO CAPTAIN, WE HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY A VESSEL FROM THE PLANET OMEGA 3 oomp.com THANKFULLY THE DAMAGE IS ONLY SUPER FISH OIL
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  • 23
    Will, have you heard that Wesley is working on crossbreeding chickens with banjos? That sounds bizarre! Why would anybody do such a thing? The goal is a chicken that plucks itself. 7.U.M. ARMY
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  • 24
    Bugs Bunny won't accept files through Google Drive STAR TREK FOREVER He'll only accept a WhatsApp Doc STAR TREK FANS
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  • 25
    When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo STAR TREK FOREVER TREK TALKING I had to put my foot down.
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